Supplemental Reading: Fate of the Furious



In 2017, a series had a vision. To bring an end to everything it had been building for the past 16 years. That series was the Fast and Furious Cinematic Universe and this is that end. With a new director in F. Gary Gray and the same ole Chris Morgan blood pumping through its veins, this movie sought to be what no other FFCU movie could be. Somewhat decent. We’ve seen the highs, the lows, and the lower lows, but for the first time we experience the upper middle. Characters emote more than they ever have before. Enemies become quipping, babysitting friends. And Roman fulfills his destiny. All of these moments and more, we discuss in this Supplemental Reading as we bid the FFCU adieu.

Until next time, friends. See you in 2019.

Music

Summon the Rawk Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/


Supplemental Reading: Furious 7



In 2015, Justin Lin had a dream, to direct other movies. So another man stepped up to fill the void he left. That man was James Wan. Famed director of the Saw series and The Conjuring. A veteran of horror movies joined the FFCU to create a monster of a movie with a plot so convoluted, you might as well saw off your foot to get free from it. All your favorite names appear in the opening credits, just to get cameo treatments as this movie has little to do with them. Oh and don’t even get me started on the camera work, the lack of finesse in cutting between cuts, and the overall botched dialogue. Look, it’s a rough ride. But there are some redeeming qualities. I won’t spoil them here. Or anywhere else. Just listen and watch or watch and listen. You’ll see/hear for yourself.

Music:

Summon the Rawk Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/


Supplemental Reading: Furious 6/Fast 6/ Fast and Furious 6



In 2013, a man had a dream vision while being struck by the lightning bolt of inspiration: To make a movie with three titles and to use them interchangeably in various forms of marketing and representation of the film.  That man was Justin Lin and this film is his last (in this franchise). And if the confusing title is any indication, the plot is just as confusing. What’s not confusing, is how much family means to Dom Toretto. And it means everything. If Dom would have to work for the government to take down an evil Crew of equal, if not greater, skill just to get a chance at winning back Letty Ortiz (who has lost her memory) and reuniting the family once again, he’d probably do it. Now if you’re a man like Shaw, the leader of the evil Crew, you might just do everything in your power to have the most confusing motivations, actions, plans, and schemes as possible, just because villains are hard. But hey, all your favorite characters are back and introduced in the title sequence to cut down any chance of surprise and joy you may have had.

Anyway, our feelings about this movie might be transparent, but the plot of this 3 hour headache sure isn’t.

Music:

Summon the Rawk Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/


Supplemental Reading: Fast Five



In 2011, a man had a dream. A dream to create the best action/car/heist movie of all time set in Brazil, using an already established franchise and characters people already knew. Unfortunately, Hannah Barbara would not give up the rights to Speed Buggy, so Justin Lin had to fall back to The Fast and Furious Franchise instead. For fun, he brought along Chris Morgan, writer of the previous film, for a lark and knocked the entire movie out of the park. It’s all here. Everyone you’ve ever loved. All the cars you kind of tolerate. And even new friends and foes in the form of Dwanye Johnson, aka the only thing missing from the previous movies. Buckle everything up. It’s five types of fast and it’s all for you.

Music:

Summon the Rawk Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/


Supplemental Reading: Fast and Furious



It’s 2009. Every movie around us is dark, gritty, serious with heroes facing real problems and true conflict. Justin Lin is back to rework a movie franchise that didn’t know where it was going. His vision? Drop. The. “The”s. That’s right. The FFCU is back and it’s more streamlined than ever. Forget Sean Boswell, we’re going back to AMERICA this time around cause a whole lot of characters we haven’t seen in near a decade are coming back with a vengeance. Remember Brian O’Conner? How could you? But Dom’s back with his crew and it’s all fun in the sun until SOMEONE GETS MURDERED. We can’t reveal who because that’s kind of the driving force (ha) of the entire movie but odds are it isn’t Brian O’Conner, because WE FORGOT HE EXISTED. Are these random caps doing anything for you? No? Well BUCKLE UP, CHUCKLE HUTS, cause it’s to get FAST and FURIOUS up in this MOVIE HOUSE slash PODCAST.

Music Credits:
Summon the Rawk Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/


Supplemental Reading: The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift



In the gone-by year of 2006, famed director Justin Lin was a virtually unknown, untested director with nothing but a name and a dream. A dream to unite the passion of American and German film while exploring the third, unrelated culture of Japan through the eyes of a piece of wood masquerading as a person. Justin Lin set out to see this dream become a reality and to answer a question. What happens when the stakes are raised so high, you have to leave the country? To answer this question, he made a movie. He cast a piece of wood as the lead and taught that piece of wood to turn, wait for it, in a car. Whereas America is known for its wide open roads with no turns whatsoever, Japan has to practice a discipline known as the economy of space by inventing the turn. And the Japanese people have been turning for centuries, if not eons. So what happens when we take an American piece of wood, stick it behind a tricked out super car, and put it on the world famous Japanese turning roads?

Art.

 


Supplemental Reading: 2 Fast 2 Furious



The action continues this week on Zero Credit(s) as the Boys dive cylinder-head-first into John Singleton’s entry in the FFCU. This episode, much like the sequel they’re discussing, is both tighter and more action-oriented than its predecessor. Could this movie possibly live up to the promises made by The Turbo Charged Prelude for 2 Fast 2 Furious? What does it truly mean to be a cop? How many times can Ludacris’ hair change shape? Find the answers to these questions AND MANY MORE this week on Zero Credit(s)!

 

 

Music Credit:
Summon the Rawk Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/


Supplemental Reading: The Fast and the Furious



In 2001, famed director Robert Cohen had a plan. A man, a plan, a ten second car: The Fast and the Furious. And while the title may sound like a dramatic soap opera that your mom or dad might watch in the late afternoon, there’s nothing soap about this thrilling, high octane seed of one of America’s most successful franchises of all time. It’s dramatic, but it’s all on the pavement, cause that’s where the races happen.

John and Henry might be a little too detail oriented for this first installment, but just the series they’re reviewing, they’re going to get better with each episode, and faster, and more high-octane.

But all-in-all, the first of the Fast/Furious series is kind of mediocre with no real ending and it’s kind of shocking to know that this movie has seven sequels.

 

Music:

Summon the Rawk Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/


Episode 108: A Ten-Pack of Pink Ping Pong Balls



So this guy is walking into a bar. He’s been having kind of a rough week and thinks he deserves a drink. He’s not like an alcoholic or anything. Not that there’s anything wrong with being an alcoholic, it’s a disease after all. Anyway, this guy notices in the window of the bar a very short man playing the piano. Not like a normally short person, but like this guy barely comes up to your knee, figuratively and actually. You wouldn’t want to actually compare his height to your shin on account you, you know, probably that’s offensive. Anyway this guy disregards what he’s seen because hey, the world takes all sorts, and goes into the bar. Now, his first stop is the bathroom, because he just got off work and he hasn’t been home yet to take care of his biological business. Don’t judge. Anyway, when he opens the bathroom door, he’s bathed in a golden light brighter than anything he’s ever seen. You know what he sees? You guessed it: a dang old genie, all glowing and floating as genies have a tendency to do. Now this guy might lead a pretty exciting life, but he rarely has call to hold court with genies despite what you might expect, so he is understandably taken aback. He closes the door, shakes his head, and opens the door again just to check, like a solid second-beat of a classic comedy routine, and bang: still genie. So this guy walks back to the bartender and says: “hey man, I think you’ve got a genie in your bathroom. Is that normal?” The bartender, shaking his head and dutifully wiping a glass, replies: “Yessir. That genie in the bathroom is a wish-granting genie. Anything you ask, he delivers.” The man really doesn’t want for much in life, but figures this is a when-in-Rome scenario and heads back to the bathroom. He stand before the genie and asks: “now I know you genies can’t speak unless you’re granting wishes. Under this arrangement, would you grant me world peace?” The genie smiles, fills his belly with genie energy, and bellows real loud “a swirl of geese!” And suddenly, wouldn’t ya know it, the bathroom is filled with flying geese. Now this man’s no fool, and he sees the situation for what it is almost immediately. He leaves the now goosified bathroom, walks up to the bartender, and says: “barkeep, I think that genie has a hearing problem.” The bartender shoots back a world-weary glance. “Sure, I know that. Now what’ll you have?” The man slides his card across the bartop and orders a New York sour. He looks over his shoulder at the twelve-inch pianist, playing sublime uptempo jazz, and slowly sinks into the realization that there are some things he’ll never understand.

 


Episode 107: Men Prefer Debt-Free Apes Without Tattoos Who Blew It Up, Goddamn You All to Hell



It’s African dust season here in Texas, and it has laid low 50% of the podcast, but you know that won’t break their stride. In the final install of their much-beloved and mucho-belated World Kup Korner, Henry and John reveal the ultimate winner and infinite loser of the Game of Foot Champions. John then poses one of the greatest philosophical hypothetics of our time: “why won’t a Japanese person finish a cigarette?” And the answer, it may surprise you, is ASTONISHINGLY BANAL. Henry then destroys all of our traditional notions of what men truly prefer with the help of The Transformed Wife, and your views on debt, promiscuity, and tattooedness will never be the same. Get ready to blow it all up, this week on Zero Credit(s)!