Episode 143: Soccer, Sword Dog, and Speedruns (ft Jeff)



In some ancient mountain societies, the people would come together once every 500 years to sacrifice a member of their rank to sustain the great, cosmic elder that allows them to keep living in its domain. This mountain-god-monster would drink the blood of this sacrifice and learn secrets of humanity from the life experience of that sacrifice. This is how the mountain-god-fiend became an expert of human topics such as the 2019 Women’s World Cup, the US Women’s National Team, and other various topics. Today, we summon that mountain-god-jerk to answer for his eons long crimes and to answer our very rudimentary questions about soccer. That thing’s name is Jeff. He’s been on the show before, but no with both hosts present. Maybe this time will be different. Maybe this time, the ZC boys can hold off the evil influence of Jeff. Or maybe the IPAs will be just strong enough to allow Jeff’s reign to continue another countless millennia. This would definitely not happen if Megan Rapinoe, Alex Morgan, and Rose Lavelle were here, but what can you do?


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