Episode 170: America’s First Openly Goth President



The year is 2020. The place, America. Newly elected President Bernie Sanders takes the podium in front of the newly renovated Black House. He’s all decked out in his black eye liner, black painted nails, and his executive studded leather choker around his neck. “America,” he says, “My fourth act as Goth President is upon you. Behold. Our new national anthem.” Release the Bats by The Birthday Party begins broadcasting nationwide on all channels. Right before the first chorus, Bernie speaks again, “And now, America, behold our new national bird.” Thousands of bats are released from holding cages hidden behind stage. They swarm through the crowd, confused and chattering. “Our flag,” Bernie says, holding up a perfect replica of the United States flag, only it’s completely black. “The America you knew is dead. This is the new America. This is how things are now. It’s not a phase.” The crowd goes wild.

Also, Fast and Furious: Spyracers episode six is discussed.