I hear what you’re saying, and I’m wondering it to. Does John not liking Animal Crossing make him some kind of grotesque monster? Do we have the right to judge said monster based on his preferences alone? Well I’m here to tell you the answer to both of those questions is yes. John is a monster, one who works for the Lord of Terror himself, Diablo. It’s out job to band together as no more than four adventures to loot and kill our way to John’s evil throne and take him down once and for all. I just pray we have enough bells to afford the equipment we need to take him out. Maybe someone could arrange a loan for us. Wait, what’s this raccoon doing here? Why do I have a sudden urge to fish for hours on end?
In the year 2020, the coronavirus rages on, but here on the digital space, two brave Hackerz(tm) brave the net to establish someplace where those not brave enough to go outside can stay inside. That’s right, Zero Credit(s) has a website (kind of). Finally, there’s a place on the net where no one will fear to tread (it’s not made yet). And it features all the latest and great technology money can buy (we have no budget). Featuring the genius of Henry (not involved in the project) and the workhorsemanship of John, this truly will be the best website on the webternet. Webs.
At the time of recording this episode, Henry was growing increasingly worried about his company’s lack of response to the COVID-19 global pandemic, while John was on day 6 of his company mandated quarantine. So things were a little bit weird in the studio for this one, to say the least. However, we have the finale of the Fast and Furious: Spyracers discussions and a whole heaping of good news that may have been overshadowed in this trying time. Stay safe out there and WASH YOUR HANDS.
Looking for a little levity in this crazy time of canceled everything due to social distancing and the coronavirus? We got you covered as we take on the penultimate episode of Spyracers. Also we talk a ton about the coronavirus. Sorry. At the time it wasn’t as big of a thing as it is now. So. That’s something. This short cause I have a lot going on. Sorry!
John has fled to the mountains of Colorado, where the winds are cold and the snow is colder, leaving Henry with sole control of the podcast. And instead of planning anything like a guest or a special event, Henry got really into his Fire Emblem Three Houses Maddening Golden Deer run and forgot to do any of that. The result is Henry discussing things for over an hour as he drinks progressively more and more Shiner. Hopefully you like it. If not, the regular podcast should be back soon. Enjoy!
Underclocked by Eric Skiff
The year is 2020. The place, America. Newly elected President Bernie Sanders takes the podium in front of the newly renovated Black House. He’s all decked out in his black eye liner, black painted nails, and his executive studded leather choker around his neck. “America,” he says, “My fourth act as Goth President is upon you. Behold. Our new national anthem.” Release the Bats by The Birthday Party begins broadcasting nationwide on all channels. Right before the first chorus, Bernie speaks again, “And now, America, behold our new national bird.” Thousands of bats are released from holding cages hidden behind stage. They swarm through the crowd, confused and chattering. “Our flag,” Bernie says, holding up a perfect replica of the United States flag, only it’s completely black. “The America you knew is dead. This is the new America. This is how things are now. It’s not a phase.” The crowd goes wild.
Also, Fast and Furious: Spyracers episode six is discussed.
Spyracers gets okayish, we make a huge FFCU discovery, and then we make another huge FFCU discovery.
It’s all Fast and Furious all the time here at Zero Credit(s). You ride. You fight.
It doesn’t happen often, but occasionally, the Academy gets things right, such as when they refused to let me become a cop. I was really just in it for the gun. Now, the Academy has gotten a second thing right: Parasite won every award it should have. For the first time in history, a foreign language film swept the Oscars and took home so many little golden men statues. Other notable things happened that night and Henry and John will discuss them, but let me tell you about the gun I almost had. It was a walter pk 45 and it weighed as much as two full cups of coffee, but in one hand. It was shiny and grey like gunmetal, because it was a gun. The lieutenant saw me talking to it and then they wouldn’t let me become a cop any more and I feel like maybe I could get a second chance if I dyed my hair and changed my name, but that’s for another time.
Also happening: the fourth installment of the ongoing MiniSupRed on Fast and Furious: Spyracers.
Four years, 200+ episodes over three shows, and 167 episodes of the main show. It’s been a journey. When John and I set out to create this podcast, we had but one goal in mind: to one day have over 50% of each episode dedicated solely to the Fast and Furious franchise of movies, television shows, and video games. We hadn’t even watched the films when we started four years ago, but somehow we knew this was going to be the goal. It was knowledge we didn’t understand filtered through the inky blackness of the cultural zeitgeist. Now here we are, with the third installment of our MiniSupRed of Fast and Furious: Spyracers and a live-listening of the trailer for F9: The Fast Saga serving as the bread of our content sandwich today. In the middle, a nice juicy look at where corporate America thinks the common interest lie through the BIG GAME commercials that the world watches with awe. This year, like many years before it, companies demonstrated a deft out-of-touch quality with an over saturation of celebrity gags and heartfelt, gaslighting messages about firefighters. But anyway, here we go.
From everyone here at the Zero Credit(s) podcast studios, John and I want to thank everyone for listening to this dumb podcast. We would absolutely probably be doing this without you, but it’s so much nicer with you hear. So thanks for listening and here’s to four more years of not knowing what the hell we’re talking about.
The long awaited conclusion to the ongoing and very serious Chili’s Saga arrives. Are you prepared for this thrilling end to the longest ongoing ZC saga ever put forth on this podcast? Probably. We also have the second edition of our Fast and Furious: Spyracers MiniSupRed for you with some even more long awaited news of the ninth installment of the time honored Fast and Furious Cinematic Universe. I’m going to keep this short.
The audio is a little off in this episode and we’re still investigating why. So if it sounds a little weird, that’s why. Hope it doesn’t ruin the experience too much.