Greetings traveler and welcome to here, the Portland of Texas, Austin, Texas. John’s got all the hot tips and the secrets of this here city of Texas Angels and he’s split them up into four distinct quadrants. Come on down to Downtown Austin, Texas or over to East Austin, Texas or even The Domain. Come debate over whether or not Central Austin is a thing that actually exists or not. We’ve. Got. It. All. We even have weird dives into the latest politically themed dating sites that seem oddly restrictive and weirdly accepting. Only in Austin can you find people calling for the repeal of the Dickey Amendment, no seriously please call your representative and tell them you are interested in repealing the Dickey Amendment. In the center of Austin you find the center of everything and right next to that, you can find yourself. Your reason for being. Call it Ikigai. Call it raison d’être. Just don’t call it late for supper. It’s a lighthearted romp through Austin with several heavy handed messages on here, the one, the only Zero Credit(s). Here.
King of the Beats Kit
The great Foot Ball Sunday Day is an event that happens but once every year, Dear Listener, and the ZC Boys could not be more excited to cover all the great events surrounding the Big Game. Not the game itself, mind, just the events surrounding it. We’re talking the commercials, the advertisements, the …third word for commercials. It’s a commercial heavy episode of Zero Credit(s), but the only thing we’re selling is a quick look into the cultural pulse of the nation. Also, Europe’s being overrun by a mutant crawfish. That’s not a joke or anything, it’s just something that is currently happening and Henry’s got all the details to enlighten us before it all ends in a river, where no one can here you blub. Strap yourself down for some edification, Zero Credit(s) starts as soon as you hit the play button yourself, we can’t do that for you. Oh man, if we could though. Boom, everywhere. Everywhere you look, people would be listening to Zero Credit(s), whether they like it or not, endlessly, forever. Enjoy!
Ext. Morning, cloudy.
Charles Dance sits at a table in the courtyard of a brutalist skyscraper. He watches a couple meet and hug, as though they haven’t seen each other in quite some time. He is not moved by their reunion, despite his piqued interest. The couple moves to leave the courtyard and he stands up from the table. Maybe he’s interested in where they’re going. Maybe he can figure out what prompted their emotion, get to the essence of what makes them human in order to better understand humanity. He begins to walk but he hears the soft ping of a silenced pistol, firing twice. Two bullets rip through him from behind, taking his life and all intentions of finding out about the couple he saw in the courtyard with it.
Charles Dance steps onto the scene, tucking a silenced pistol into his coat. “Let the ga–” Two soft pings of a silenced pistol rip through the air, striking Charles Dance in the back, taking his life and all intentions of finishing his sentence with it.
Charles Dance steps onto the scene, tucking a silenced pistol in his coa– Two soft pings of a silenced pistol rip through the air, striking Charles Dance in the back, taking his life and all intentions of tucking his pistol into his coat with it.
The camera pans to reveal Charles Dance, taking a pistol from somewhere in his coat and raising it toward Charles Dance, who just shot Charles Dance, in front of him, but before he can pull the trigger, he hears the soft pings of silenced pistol firing twice and is struck twice in the back, taking his life and all intentions of shooting Charles Dance in the back to take his life and intentions of tucking the silenced pistol into his coat and presumably saying, “Let the Games Begin,” before walking off screen with it.
The camera pans over a courtyard full of the bodies of Charles Dance in various states of having shot or being shot by Charles Dance.
It’s finally time for the first episode of 2018. But first,
ZERO CREDIT(S) EPISODE THREAT INBOUND TO YOUR EARS. SEEK IMMEDIATE SHELTER. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Henry and John are back at full capacity to discuss all the things they missed in the past two weeks. What Henry thought might be a quick introduction to 2018 segment soon overtakes the entire G.D. episode as they discuss false ballistic missile alerts, fat shaming our mentally disable president, and Nintendo’s latest announcement of a bunch of stupid pieces of cardboard for the low price of 60-70 U.S. Dollars. They also wanted to discuss what’s happening to the bitcoin, but they forgot to and so the sentiment becomes like so many empty promises in the wind, dust to dust, ashes to ashes. We’re promising new and better things in 2018, starting right here, right now, in this Capital G, Capital D frickin’ episode.
With last week’s Less Than Zero done, it’s finally time for the first episode of Zero Credit(s) of 2018. But first, here’s a Supplemental Reading on Rian Johnson’s The Last Jedi from your favorite hosts Henry and John. The boys come at this movie from conflicting angles to determine what’s the deal with everyone’s reaction to the next installment in this timeless franchise. They cover it all from the meticulous crafting of the smallest of small details in the plot to the overarching statements this movie makes about intertextuality. That’s right, we’re getting back to our SupRed Roots and talking about this movie as more than just a film you watch to enjoy. This movie has a message and we’ll expose it even if we have to remain shirtless for the an entire scene. So grab your BB8 or YY-8 and strap in for a more enlightened and informed look at The Last Jedi that no one asked for.
Super Star Wars Return of the Jedi – Main Theme
Cantina Band (DJ AG REMIX) – DJ AG
John’s out due to adjusting to his work schedule, so Jamie’s back to brighten up the podcast and tell us everything she knows about plumbing. She insisted I let you know, Dear Listener, that she was already in her warm pajamas when Henry asked her to fill in for John at the last second, and she had to go out into the cold in order to get to the Zero Credit(s) Studio (apartment). Meanwhile, Henry is in intense pain as he has somehow hurt his back while sitting at his office desk. The pain clouds his mind brain, so he completely forgot to talk about the New Year, New Mic joke he had planned the entire episode around. Not once does he mention that the Zero Credit(s) team has upgraded from the standard Yeti Snowball to the deluxe Audio-Technica AT2020USB+. So if anything sounds weird, we’re still trying to grasp the advanced mechanics that is an actual microphone with a hard to pronounce name.
We’ll be back with normal episodes soon! Happy New Year!
Underclocked by Eric Skiff
Let’s end this year right, Dear Listeners, by rendering judgement unto all. There is no sanctuary from judgement. All shall feel the light of the side eye cast on them. The unjust and just dab alike on this day. Let us take a walk through this year’s 10 special categories that represent the year as a whole. What was the best movie? The worst moment of our collective cultural experience? The best and worst of what humanity has to offer is here, in this episode. Aliens, if you only listen to one podcast episode encapsulating the human experience this year, make it this one. It’s all here, and a little bit more, just for you, Dear Listener. If you hit play at 10:27 pm on New Year’s Eve, you’ll start the New Year knowing the final verdict of 2017 (and also you will have participated in 2017’s last official Meme(tm)). Goodbye 2017, and hello The Encompassing Void That Lives Within Us All.