Category Archives: Zero Credit(s)

The main episodes of the show.

Episode 150: Too Lazy for a Clip Show…



As all our dear fams will know, every 50 episodes marks the beginning of a new season here on Zero Credit(s). And each new season brings a new wave of life into the show. The first season, we found our footing. The second season, we tried copying every other podcast out there. The third season, we abandoned that because it was dumb. And that brings us to the current season. Season 4. The season where everything changes. How will it change? I guess we’ll find out. The important thing is, we are continuing the show. The show you know and love will be here in some form. And to that end, we thank everyone for listening. We wouldn’t be doing this without you.

So what’s in this episode? Well, let’s just say things get a little tWiStEd as we welcome special guest The Joker on our airwaves. We also delve into the dumbness that is the whole Saturday Night Live controversy. I mean, it’s not hard to be a nice person, so it’s not really a controversy. It’s more just an idiot feeling the consequences of being an idiot. There’s no need to blow things out of proportion. You can’t really blame the cat for catching the mouse, so to speak.

Anyway, 150 episodes of Zero Credit(s) in the can. Here’s to 150 more. Enjoy the new song.


Episode 149: Texas on the Brink of Disaster (Bonus)



In this episode of Zero Credit(s), the boys discuss some of the new Texas laws, such as ikea laws and the new Texas Penal Code. They then discuss how these changes affect people in the Lone Star state.
Special guest Markov Elijah Wood (played by Talk to Transformer) spouts icky ideas about gender, the world and our lives. There is, of course, only one way to find what that answer is: check into a psych ward. Written by Anonymous.

John also  told her about the day when she had to work the night shift, the day the fire department had to go in to rescue people and the smell, she told me.  And I got that look on his face of, “Who are they going to see that for?  You didn’t get a letter.”
It would be so easy, I wanted to tell her that she was a great girl, that everyone loved her, my mother in particular. But I was too close to her to let her know that she deserved that.  “I don’t like to read them,” I said.
That got him laughing.

This description was written by Talk to Transformer. It’s all on iTunes! And here!


Episode 148: The Flamin’ Hot Episode



Just when you thought it couldn’t get any hotter, Eva Longoria gets tapped to direct this Flamin’ Hot summer. Cheeto dust is blowing through town and there’s only one thing to do. Stay inside and take in all of Disney+’s sweet, sweet released week-by-week content. How do you enjoy your new hit shows? We’d like to just inject them directly into our veins, but big ole bad Disney is tryin’ to make us wait and learn patience.

Also, the ZC Boys step back into the Casting Director’s Chair to cast the new Flamin’ Hot Cheetos movie directed by Eva Longoria. Will Pete Holmes play a talking, animated Cheeto? We sure fucking hope so. There’s another topic I’m forgetting, but I think we already have you hooked with the Pete Holmes thing, so I’m just gonna excuse myself. It’s Zero Credit(s)!


Episode 147: Tooth Tales of Yakuza Spiderman



There’s a lot happening right now. 500 Million bees are dead and scientists are terrified. The Amazon is on fire. Henry went to the dentist. John is excited for the Yakuza series to be played as it was meant to be played. Spiderman news. These are but a few of the topics we cover this week here on Zero Credit(s) in this very thrilling, very sober hour of conversation about current happenings. What’s new in dentistry? What dental emergencies are we facing? What’s the worst month to be a dentist? It’s September, apparently.

Summer content is hard, fams. Cause the heat’s just getting hotter and the days longer. There’s so much going on, so we focused on just a few for you. Enjoy it while you can.


Episode 146: Jack Thompson 2: Re-jack’d



As dawn breaks around him, Hanz Killum is dimly aware of a sensation he hasn’t felt since Cuba: apprehension. He’s been hired by the Alleged World Elite Sex Crimes Cabal before to enact the unspeakable upon their speakable enemies before, but this time felt different. No one had died in the secure housing unit of the Metropolitan Correction Center in over 20 years. Could he make it in, alert no guards, destroy any video evidence, eliminate his target (ideally in a way that suggests suicide or misadventure), collect the microfiche, and extract himself via jetski all while using no save slots? It was time to find out.

“Alleged Sex Criminal Jeffrey Epstein, I presume” Killum intoned while collecting the crepe-paper bedsheet between his outstretched hands. Epstein recoiled, “I thought they would simply give me, Alleged Human Trafficker and Procurement Specialist for the World Elite Jeffrey Epstein, the same kind of CIA Cancer that they allegedly gave to my butler!” Killum padded closer, exuding the kind of coiled malice that is allegedly afforded to those working for the Alleged Sex Crime Cabal Including Chris Tucker Among Others. “I just wanted to spend time with you, Jeffrey. You could call it…” Killum looped the bedsheets around the neck of the alleged sex criminal. “A limited hangout.”

An excerpt from “Kill St. James: If I Did It (I Probably Did.) Book Seven of the Killum Chronicles”


Episode 145: Ultimate Wacky Death Races



On a world covered in pavement, only one racer can be crowned the most coveted rank of all: Race War Rulerperson. Now, after countless decades of scheming, Dick Dastardly, infamous racer, exconvict, and inventor, has finally perfected his magnum opus: The Transporter. Using this device, he summons every car-based hero time, space, multi-verses, franchises failed and thriving alike to participate in the long, deadliest, wackiest race ever conceived by man/beast/nitro-infused god. The Fast and Familia, Hobbs and Shaw, Speed Racer, Mario Karts, Speed Buggy, REO Speed Wagon, Cars from Disney’s Cars, multiple Transformers, and Herbie Fully Loaded are among the crowds of racers. Not to mention the entirety of the Mad Max Fury Road and both Death Races. They’re all here, revving up those engines. One last time.

This time, it’s for keeps.

ULTIMATE WACKY DEATH RACES. IN THEATERS. SUMMER 2022.

Also, Hobbs and Shaw is out today. Go see it.


Episode 144: A Bad Show aka The Marvels of Madness



A late night talk show host wraps up his politically charged monologue of the days events. He lets out a heavy sigh and looks right into camera four. “Look, we don’t have a good show tonight.” The audience doesn’t know what to do and so they do nothing. “I know, I know,” the host continues, “normally, we prepare a good show and we perform the good show and we all go home happy. But tonight. Not a good show. Our guests canceled. The band has food poisoning. My sidekick has never, ever been funny. It’s just not a good show.” The audience slumps in their seats, a collective blob of disappointment and apathy. “What we do have for you tonight is the ZC Boys talking about the recent announcements at San Diego Comic Con and the larger implications those announcements bear on the average Marvel fan.” The audience slumps further in its seat. “What we do have is some slightly depressing news about the filming of Fast 9 and one stuntman by the name of Joe Watts.” The audience begins to spill out on the theater floor and congeal. “There is a silver lining, however,” the host says. The audience pauses its congealing. “Hobbs and Shaw comes out next week.”

An immediate eruption of applause breaks out as the audience splits back into many different individuals, all with their own thoughts and feelings, but all equally excited for the release of Hobbs and Shaw, in theaters August 2nd.


Episode 143: Soccer, Sword Dog, and Speedruns (ft Jeff)



In some ancient mountain societies, the people would come together once every 500 years to sacrifice a member of their rank to sustain the great, cosmic elder that allows them to keep living in its domain. This mountain-god-monster would drink the blood of this sacrifice and learn secrets of humanity from the life experience of that sacrifice. This is how the mountain-god-fiend became an expert of human topics such as the 2019 Women’s World Cup, the US Women’s National Team, and other various topics. Today, we summon that mountain-god-jerk to answer for his eons long crimes and to answer our very rudimentary questions about soccer. That thing’s name is Jeff. He’s been on the show before, but no with both hosts present. Maybe this time will be different. Maybe this time, the ZC boys can hold off the evil influence of Jeff. Or maybe the IPAs will be just strong enough to allow Jeff’s reign to continue another countless millennia. This would definitely not happen if Megan Rapinoe, Alex Morgan, and Rose Lavelle were here, but what can you do?


Episode 142: Megan Rapinoe/Where Are You/We’ve Got Some Work To Do Now



Kick! Pass! Slide! Goal! Ball! The Women’s World Cup is hotting up, and The Footy Boys are here to bring you all the latest news about the US Women’s National Soccer National Football Team Women’s. Will the Lionesses dent their ego, as some crusty goblins have suggested? They will not. Sorry. Since this episode could have easily devolved into another much-maligned Sports Corner, the Footish Men transition to conversations about the concept of “coming out” and question our nation’s preoccupation with otherizing queerness. Also they talk about Gremlins 2. This is the New America, and this is Zero Credit(s)!


Episode 141: Live from the Zero Credit(s) New(s) De(s)k



You’re going about your day, perhaps you’re walking down a busy street on your way to work or to a local ball game. The sun hangs high in the sky, peaking from behind a cloud and everything seems like it’s going to be okay. That’s when you hear it. The news jingle. It creeps into your ears and lays its eggs. The sun is gone. It’s 6 pm Central Time. The street is gone. Nothing remains save a lone television set in front of you blasting the news jingle straight into your brain. The news is here. There is no escape. Learn about things you read on the internet hours ago as though they are happening right now. The news is here. There is no escape. I am your news host and this, breaking news, is your death.