Episode 118: Monopoly: Entertainment Conglomerate Edition



Everything is you love is converging into one giant shapeless mass. Hooray! This week the Boys are in top form as they tackle the hard-hitting subject matter of checks notes alcohols they’ve heard of but seldom drank. After that delightful and well-planned adventure, they checks notes jump right into the murky and interminable waters of intertextuality and anti-trust laws when they discuss the all-but-certain checks notes Disney-Fox merger. The real meat of the episode, however, is when the checks notes Boys turn to the eradication checks notes of adult content on Tumblr checks notes dot com. What will they reveal about their feelings toward adult content? Will John suddenly get an epiphany and safe places for people to explore their sexuality? Will we finally learn which of ZC Boys has seen pornography? Find out this week on checks notes WTF with Marc Maron!

 


Episode 117: Thaaanks



The autumn leaves have fallen and it’s cold everywhere you look–WEATHER UPDATE: Today’s Forecast in Austin, TX, is gonna be HOT HOT HOT. 70° High with no chance for cold anywhere throughout the day. We return you to your normally scheduled podcast description–the snow is falling and the boys are feeling ever so thankful for the things that have changed in their lives in the past year. It’s time to come together and give a hearty and full-bellied “thaanks.”

 

And then it gets all anti-capitalism and communistic and just becomes a normal episode of the podcast. I mean. The boys tried to keep it apolitical/a-economical. They really did.


Episode 116: Medieval Death Bot Meets World



With nothing left to lose in the world in the wake of the midterm elections, John and Henry travel back in time to meet their maker. Several hundred times. Cause when you’re an immortal time traveling duo of know-nothings, there’s nothing like the soothing feeling of being stabbed and overpowered by three other men in the dusty, disgusting alleys of middle age England. Or wherever the Dark Ages happened. Price of knife, 1 shilling. Henry then drinks way too much Andy Gator and tries to ruin everything John has planned. And succeeds? Hm. Who is to say? You should find out. By listening. To the episode.


Episode 115: Drunk Midterms Live-ish



Spoiler alert, we get political.

It’s election night in America and Henry and John are champing at the bit to spit their particular political opinions all over your ears. Yeah, it’s gross. This is politics. It tends to get gross. Nothing is held back. Political parties are dropped into pits. Politicians are dragged across the coals. Candidates are lifted up the mountain to be dropped off the other side. Voting is the real battlefield and the war zone is littered with the corpses of democracy. And at the center of this is a healthy serving of “fuck Ted Cruz” dished up by your local artisan rant-chef John. The boys are drinkin’ and thinkin’ and the Zeitgeist is a horrible demon to have on your shoulder when politics rolls around.

But fear not, my child-fams. There is a shining beacon of hope in all this darkness. Shrek is getting rebooted. And there’s nothing more pure in the world than an ogre voiced by Mike Myers.


Episode 114: Frightentimes 2: Finale: Ted the Caver



Have you ever wanted to willingly put yourself in a space so small that all you can do is wiggle your shoulders to move forward? Have you ever wanted to be in a situation where squeezing through a small space is the only way to explore where you’re going, knowing that to get back you’ll have to squeeze through that same small passage? Feel like risking your life for the sake of seeing something not many get to see personally because if something goes wrong you may die over the course of days, alone in the dark, as you slowly starve to death?

What am I saying, OF COURSE YOU DO. Caving is such a fun activity that it’s now mandatory. Hop in a cave, break your legs, and slowly lose your humanity to the darkness within. Who knows what you’ll crawl out as. A demons? A bats? Some rock? It’s all a mystery to us, but soon you’ll know pretty much gosh darn fucking everything there is to know about the dangers of just standing in a cave. Not even walking. Just standing in a cave could kill you. It’s dangerous to go alone, and watch your step cause that’s just a 30 foot drop in the floor for no reason and you have to jump over it to go further. Yeah, it’s just there. Sheer drop, 30 feet. Probably spikes at the bottom too cause why wouldn’t there be?

Caves. They’ll murder you without a second thought.

 

Music:
Unseen Horrors, Welcome to HorrorLand
Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/


Episode 113: Frightentimes 2 Part 4: BURN WATER NOTICE



This week on Zero Credit(s)–THIS IS AN ANNOUNCEMENT FROM THE CENTRAL AUTHORITY. PLEASE BE ADVISED THAT FOR THE DURATION OF THE EVENT, ALL RESIDENTS ARE TO BURN THEIR WATER BEFORE DRINKING, COOKING, EXISTING, OR RUBBING IT ALL OVER THEIR SKIN. AS SOON AS THE WATER LEAVES THE FAUCET, IT NEEDS TO BE BURNED IMMEDIATELY OR ELSE. REPEAT. ALL RESIDENTS ARE TO BURN THEIR WATER. THERE WILL BE NO EXCEPTIONS TO THIS ADVISEMENT. STAY TUNED FOR UPDATES TO THE CURRENT SITUATION, BUT BE ADVISED THAT OFFICIALS DO NOT SEE THIS EVER ENDING. WE RETURN YOU TO YOUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED PROGRAMMING–puddles and puddles of blood and guts and viscera. Ugh, so gross. But it’s all here, for you fams! Enjoy!

Music:

Shadowlands 2 – Bridge, Welcome to HorrorLand
Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/


Episode 112: Frightentimes 2: Part 3: Mass Rituals



WE’RE HALFWAY THROUGH THESE DREADFUL TIMES
BUT HOW WILL YOU PAY FOR ALL YOUR CRIMES?

CAN YOU FOLLOW THE PHANTOM THREAD?
STARRING DANIEL DAY LEWIS AND VICKY KRIEPS?

IT’S TOO SLOW FOR ME, BUT THAT’S JUST MY PERSONAL TASTE
NOT ENOUGH ACTION, TOO MUCH DRAMA IN YOUR FACE.

ANYWAY, IT’S TIME AGAIN FOR FRIGHT AND FEAR.
BELIEVE EVERYTHING THAT YOU HEAR.
IT’S REAL.

Music:
Shadowlands 2 – Bridge, Welcome to HorrorLand
Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0//


Episode 111: Frightentimes 2: Part 2: Brought to You by the Dark Entry Forest Association



Week 2 of the Frightentimes is here /
The end of all things is near /

What awaits us at the end /
of life and death /
of foe and friend /

Urban legends get just a bit creepier this week as we dive into Dudley Town, the Georgia Guidestones, and The Death Comet.


Episode 110: Frightentimes 2: Part I: A Perfectly Normal Episode



Darkness. Deeper and deeper. In the dream you can never close your eyes, you always have to see it. Everything you’ve done thus far has lead to this, regrettably. You knew it was out there, you had the opportunity to do something, but you always shut your eyes to the only truth. The long-fingered hands followed your shadows and nerves from every room, backwards up the stairs. You knew that all you had to do was look, but you didn’t want to admit you were choosing the illusion. All of your friends were in on it, they had all seen us, and they were playing with you. Our wages echo in the weight of your false innocence, and now you’re home. You spent your life reading the lines, never between them, and now we’re going to show you the real music. Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name.

 

Music:

Unseen Horrors, Welcome to HorrorLand Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/


Episode 109: Bonebone & Peachode



We’re back to normal, folks, in this the first of many perfectly normal episodes, I, the description writer Clara, do declare. The boys have a lot of catching up to do, Zeitgeist-wise, but not a lot of time due to budgeting errors and overlong coverage of America’s favorite movie series of the past 8 weeks. So it’s a shorter episode and we hope you forgive us. Video games are a-buzzing as the internet adapts one of their time-honored traditions of turning everything into sexier versions of itself to the time-honored Nintendo franchise of Mario. Yes, Bowsette is here to ruin the art of the internet and only Mario can stop it, much to Peach’s chagrin. Also we get political. A tiny bit. Like a small amount. A mushroom shaped amount. The boys then swing into Spider-Man (DON’T FORGET THAT HYPHEN. -John) as Marvel, Sony, and Insomniac combined forces to deliver one of the most fun video games of the current year. And then time’s up. Watch out! Here comes the Zero Credit(s) podcast, now on Spotify!

Man, how time flies. In a month, I will have been here for exactly one year. Crazy crazy times. Well, see you next week!