That’s right. Another year, another attempt to use the Big Game as a litmus test of cultural happenings. Does it ever really work? Eh, who is to say? All we know is the game was kind of boring and the commercials were also kind of boring. And in the middle of a pandemic, is it worth gathering 25,000 fans and who knows how many personnel into one close-quarters area for the sake of a kind of boring game? Probably not. Probably wasn’t worth it all, if we’re being honest. Like, we would get more value out of something else that cost this amount of money, to be sure. But all we have is beer and football to show for our efforts. Plus we break down most of the commercials! It’s all here on Zero Credit(s).
Spoiler alert, we get political.
It’s election night in America and Henry and John are champing at the bit to spit their particular political opinions all over your ears. Yeah, it’s gross. This is politics. It tends to get gross. Nothing is held back. Political parties are dropped into pits. Politicians are dragged across the coals. Candidates are lifted up the mountain to be dropped off the other side. Voting is the real battlefield and the war zone is littered with the corpses of democracy. And at the center of this is a healthy serving of “fuck Ted Cruz” dished up by your local artisan rant-chef John. The boys are drinkin’ and thinkin’ and the Zeitgeist is a horrible demon to have on your shoulder when politics rolls around.
But fear not, my child-fams. There is a shining beacon of hope in all this darkness. Shrek is getting rebooted. And there’s nothing more pure in the world than an ogre voiced by Mike Myers.
It’s 2009. Every movie around us is dark, gritty, serious with heroes facing real problems and true conflict. Justin Lin is back to rework a movie franchise that didn’t know where it was going. His vision? Drop. The. “The”s. That’s right. The FFCU is back and it’s more streamlined than ever. Forget Sean Boswell, we’re going back to AMERICA this time around cause a whole lot of characters we haven’t seen in near a decade are coming back with a vengeance. Remember Brian O’Conner? How could you? But Dom’s back with his crew and it’s all fun in the sun until SOMEONE GETS MURDERED. We can’t reveal who because that’s kind of the driving force (ha) of the entire movie but odds are it isn’t Brian O’Conner, because WE FORGOT HE EXISTED. Are these random caps doing anything for you? No? Well BUCKLE UP, CHUCKLE HUTS, cause it’s to get FAST and FURIOUS up in this MOVIE HOUSE slash PODCAST.
Summon the Rawk Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
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