Tag Archives: Facebook

Episode 94: Facebook on Trial II: Killer Beeze



INT. SILICON VALLEY GYM

Jeff Bezos is deadlifting, like, 1,000 kilograms. He pauses at the top of the movement, tension and power radiating through his tight nerd body. Overhead, the gym’s Toshiba flatscreen TVs show footage of empty subways. Close-up on graffiti that reads: “DOWN WITH THE TRANSHUMAN DATA CLOUD -BANKSY”

BEZOS (grunting tautly) The words of the prophets were truly written on the subway walls. Bezos slams the bar down, just as his faithful servant Hecubus enters holding a phone on a plate or whatever.

HECUBUS Master, it’s for you. Bezos picks up the phone. The caller is indistinct.

BEZOS So you’re saying I’ve been invited to a martial arts tournament to decide the fate of humanity? So you’re saying it’s going to be my only chance to meet the man behind all this and show him the power of my human muscles? So you’re saying his name is Mark Zuckerberg, my enemy of a long time? Well I’ve got one thing to say to that, Mark. The rolling garage door thing behind Bezos opens, bathing his slick and bulging body with the glorious rays of a Silicon Valley sunrise. Outside, a Kawasaki Ninja (which the audience is meant to assume belongs to Bezos) is loudly idling, its masterfully designed mechanical frame mirroring the trapped ferocity of Bezos’ own sculpted leanness.

BEZOS Let the games begin


Episode 93: Deep Dives into Dark Times



Gone are the lighthearted days of Black Panther and snippets of longer conversations about Monster Hunter. They have been replaced by a general anxiety of a (at the time) at large serial bomber terrorizing the city of Austin. Curtain aside, we recorded a segment on the Austin bombings on Tuesday and said bomber was apprehended (so to speak) in the early morning hours of Wednesday. We decided to still run the segment as a “moment out of time” sort of look at what living in a terrorized city feels like. Okay, curtain back, Facebook is heavily involved in Russian data-buying schemes, so delete your Facebook (app) and revel in these crazy often Russian tampered times. How do we be happy in these crazy times? Let’s listen to two somewhat depressed people who read about philosophy as a means of trying to find meaning in their lives try to make sense of happiness and these crazy times. That’s… a mouthful… but isn’t that what Zero Credit(s) is all about? Isn’t it? Someone tell me.


Episode 87: Open Your Eyes, Ban All Knives



The sky is growing lighter, but there’s still a chill that can cut to the bone. Come, weary souls, and let the Boys warm you with knowledge. Henry and John open the proceedings by delivering a collegiate-level overview of identifying difficult film genres (eg. Zoo, Museum). They hope your previous degree is now worthless. John makes a CLASSIC schoolboy-type error by trying to have a meaningful discussion on organized religion before he is eviscerated by Henry’s opening philosophical salvo: the Murderers Paradox. The poor fool never saw it coming. Finally, we hope you’re hankering for a big drippy scoop of Big Data, because the Boys connect some troubling dots to paint a grim picture of our future, but not without discovering some surprising facts about their own culture. No one will ever remain who they thought they were. It’s a never-ending road for your identity. It’s Zero Credit(s)!