Look, it can no longer be denied. Zack Snyder is going to save cinema with his cut of Justice League. We all thought it was going to be Christopher Nolan’s Tenet, but that film was a false prophet that dragged cinema down into the dirt. Only Zack Snyder can pull off the movie event of the decade, neigh, the century to singlehandedly save the movie going experience. But no story is complete without a villain, an antagonist to stand in the way of our intrepid hero. Enter Disney, a media conglomerate that owns more properties than a Monopoly board. Disney is raising an army of quality content slated to come out in the next year to three years. Can the Snyder Cut stand up in the face of so much evil? Only time will tell, dear friends. Only time will tell.
A late night talk show host wraps up his politically charged monologue of the days events. He lets out a heavy sigh and looks right into camera four. “Look, we don’t have a good show tonight.” The audience doesn’t know what to do and so they do nothing. “I know, I know,” the host continues, “normally, we prepare a good show and we perform the good show and we all go home happy. But tonight. Not a good show. Our guests canceled. The band has food poisoning. My sidekick has never, ever been funny. It’s just not a good show.” The audience slumps in their seats, a collective blob of disappointment and apathy. “What we do have for you tonight is the ZC Boys talking about the recent announcements at San Diego Comic Con and the larger implications those announcements bear on the average Marvel fan.” The audience slumps further in its seat. “What we do have is some slightly depressing news about the filming of Fast 9 and one stuntman by the name of Joe Watts.” The audience begins to spill out on the theater floor and congeal. “There is a silver lining, however,” the host says. The audience pauses its congealing. “Hobbs and Shaw comes out next week.”
An immediate eruption of applause breaks out as the audience splits back into many different individuals, all with their own thoughts and feelings, but all equally excited for the release of Hobbs and Shaw, in theaters August 2nd.
THE FOLLOWING EPISODE IS NOTHING BUT SPOILERS FOR THE HIT MOVIE AVENGERS ENDGAME. DON’T EVEN START PLAYING IT UNTIL YOU HAVE SEEN SAID MOVIE IN ITS ENTIRETY.
11 years. 22 movies. It all comes down to this. The culmination of the grand Marvel Cinematic Universe experiment arrives like destiny and, surprising no one, the boys have a lot to say about it. In this surprisingly divisive Supplemental Reading, John and Henry duke it out over the deeper themes of the movie. We can’t get into it here, on the off chance that someone seems this before they see the movie somehow, but let’s just say after all this time, it’s finally here. The Andgame. Good job, Endvengers. You really Anded it.
River Flute Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
It’s a new room and new show, folks, as Henry and John wrestle with technical difficulties and dropped audio. For those of you who do not know, dropped audio is a phenomenon in which audio that is supposed to be recorded just isn’t for some reason. Like the waveform (visual representation of recorded sound) looks fine besides some stuttering (visual lag), but when we stopped, there were just gaps of unrecorded audio. To combat this, Henry digs out that time honored and fam-favorite Ultra-Powerful, but Ultimately Shackled Fiendly Neighborhood Exposition Bot to plug those gaps. Also this entire episode is about Marvel and Disney and the return of James Gunn. Like, there’s a lot more covered, but really besides that and talking about Burger King in what sounds like an advertisement (we assure it is not), it’s just Disney and Marvel all the way down, folks. And with the Disney/Fox merger happening literally hours after this recording, we might just cover Disney again next week. Since you know, they ARE entertainment now.
We’re back to normal, folks, in this the first of many perfectly normal episodes, I, the description writer Clara, do declare. The boys have a lot of catching up to do, Zeitgeist-wise, but not a lot of time due to budgeting errors and overlong coverage of America’s favorite movie series of the past 8 weeks. So it’s a shorter episode and we hope you forgive us. Video games are a-buzzing as the internet adapts one of their time-honored traditions of turning everything into sexier versions of itself to the time-honored Nintendo franchise of Mario. Yes, Bowsette is here to ruin the art of the internet and only Mario can stop it, much to Peach’s chagrin. Also we get political. A tiny bit. Like a small amount. A mushroom shaped amount. The boys then swing into Spider-Man (DON’T FORGET THAT HYPHEN. -John) as Marvel, Sony, and Insomniac combined forces to deliver one of the most fun video games of the current year. And then time’s up. Watch out! Here comes the Zero Credit(s) podcast, now on Spotify!
Man, how time flies. In a month, I will have been here for exactly one year. Crazy crazy times. Well, see you next week!
*EVERY SECOND OF THIS PODCAST IS A SPOILER. EVEN THE MUSIC. EVEN THE SILENCE. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED*
10 years. 18 movies. Dozens of named characters. All leading up to this. The Supplemental Reading for Marvel’s Avengers Infinity War. The dives are deep and the fascination with the choices made in this film run deeper. It’s hard to describe what John and Henry discuss without spoilers, but let’s just say they discuss some of the deeper themes of the movie. What are those themes? We can’t rightly say. There’s a chance someone who didn’t see the movie sees this. So. You’ll have to listen. After you see the movie.
Lost Time Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0 License
Captain America and the Avengers SNES Main Title Theme
Ext. Morning, cloudy.
Charles Dance sits at a table in the courtyard of a brutalist skyscraper. He watches a couple meet and hug, as though they haven’t seen each other in quite some time. He is not moved by their reunion, despite his piqued interest. The couple moves to leave the courtyard and he stands up from the table. Maybe he’s interested in where they’re going. Maybe he can figure out what prompted their emotion, get to the essence of what makes them human in order to better understand humanity. He begins to walk but he hears the soft ping of a silenced pistol, firing twice. Two bullets rip through him from behind, taking his life and all intentions of finding out about the couple he saw in the courtyard with it.
Charles Dance steps onto the scene, tucking a silenced pistol into his coat. “Let the ga–” Two soft pings of a silenced pistol rip through the air, striking Charles Dance in the back, taking his life and all intentions of finishing his sentence with it.
Charles Dance steps onto the scene, tucking a silenced pistol in his coa– Two soft pings of a silenced pistol rip through the air, striking Charles Dance in the back, taking his life and all intentions of tucking his pistol into his coat with it.
The camera pans to reveal Charles Dance, taking a pistol from somewhere in his coat and raising it toward Charles Dance, who just shot Charles Dance, in front of him, but before he can pull the trigger, he hears the soft pings of silenced pistol firing twice and is struck twice in the back, taking his life and all intentions of shooting Charles Dance in the back to take his life and intentions of tucking the silenced pistol into his coat and presumably saying, “Let the Games Begin,” before walking off screen with it.
The camera pans over a courtyard full of the bodies of Charles Dance in various states of having shot or being shot by Charles Dance.