E3. The glorious time of year when people wearing sports jackets, jeans, and sneakers find stages to lie to some of the most vindictive people on the planet in order to sell more video games than the previous sports jacket, jeans, and sneaker clad snake oil salesman. And Henry and John dedicate a basically two hour episode to it every year. How wonderful. This year, we’re not going to focus on the specs, but on the games. We’ve got 50 game reviews, 15 world exclusive presentation reviews, 90 trailer reviews, and a whole lot more coming in early 2019. And we’re happy to announce something everyone has been waiting for. Zero Credit(s) Battle Royale. That’s right. Control up to two characters, either Henry or John, and fight with one other person to become the one true Host of the Show. It’s minutes of fun every match, but not as fun as opening one of the game’s many types of Gear Creates. You can earn Gear Creates just from playing a match, but if you want to open it, you have to make a series of micro-transactions in the in-game store hub on various cosmetic items that you can use to decorate your Henry or John. Each purchase has a 5% chance to drop a Gear Creates Key Crate, which may or may not contain a key, depending on your overall luck in life. These keys can be used to open Gear Creates, which contain some of the most powerful weapons in video game history: a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. In the meantime, enjoy the in-depth review of this year’s E3. It was okay.
Let’s end this year right, Dear Listeners, by rendering judgement unto all. There is no sanctuary from judgement. All shall feel the light of the side eye cast on them. The unjust and just dab alike on this day. Let us take a walk through this year’s 10 special categories that represent the year as a whole. What was the best movie? The worst moment of our collective cultural experience? The best and worst of what humanity has to offer is here, in this episode. Aliens, if you only listen to one podcast episode encapsulating the human experience this year, make it this one. It’s all here, and a little bit more, just for you, Dear Listener. If you hit play at 10:27 pm on New Year’s Eve, you’ll start the New Year knowing the final verdict of 2017 (and also you will have participated in 2017’s last official Meme(tm)). Goodbye 2017, and hello The Encompassing Void That Lives Within Us All.
WELCOME TO EPISODE 4 OF THE FRIGHTENTIMES /
EPISODE 5 COMING SOON / EPISODE 6 FOLLOWS /
AND FOREVER ON / WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF /
DO YOU EVER GET ANXIOUS / EMAIL US /
IF YOU REALLY HAD TO DO IT WHO WOULD YOU HURT FIRST /
JOIN THE CONVERSATION RATE COMMENT SUBSCRIBE /
EVERY TIME YOU SLEEP YOU DIE /
WHEN YOU WAKE UP YOU ARE BORN AGAIN /
AN ANIMAL WILL LET YOU KNOW IF IT IS BEING HURT /
DO YOUR FEARS COME FROM A LACK OF UNDERSTANDING OR AN UNWILLINGNESS TO UNDERSTAND /
FEED / FEED US / WELCOME TO THE FRIGHTENTIMES /
WELCOME TO NORMAL /
Killers by Kevin MacLeod (incompetech.com)
Licensed under Creative Commons: By Attribution 3.0